so, instead of reading the 4 chapters of 72, 6 of 31, and 4 of 12 (with the exception of a few websites for AS2), i considered blogging to compensate for my absence in FB.

well, if angel rocena should feel bad about this, i just wanted to clear things up:

"WE HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC REGARDING THE RULES NEXT TIME WE AGREE TO COMPLETELY IGNORE FACEBOOK FOR A WEEK."

so, if things turn out alright, i'll be back on FB by thursday.

and it's actually sad how you can come up with more things to post when you actually can't. take for example yesterday (actually, last friday, since as of this part of the post, my sidebar digital alarm clock, which btw sits comfortably on top of an analog one, along with my battery bar, to do notes, scratch pad, magic 8 ball and calculator, is screaming 12:04 in green)  when i came up with the perfect status: "butete"

since i can't go online because (a) i can't really give up so quickly on the FB arrangement with angel, and (b) i have a pitong milimetrong butete exam the following day, meaning i have to not sleep to finish reading Ang Palaka, i just settled on telling my 31.1 lab partner about how frustrating it is for me to ban myself from FB. her reaction was everything short of comforting.

so i was asked by my mom to post her PAMET convention pictures on FB earlier, and while i was waiting for her pics to be published, i opened another tab and went over to xkcd. well, it started there. i went on, reading randall's blag archives from about 2 years ago, visiting some of his sites, googling him, hitting RANDOM every now and then in my xkcd tab, obsessing over googleplex pictures and stuff.

well, i found another clever thing to share on FB but wtf i can't: i found pink and purple xkcd cupcakes, and wanted everyone to know how much i regretted having rainbow sprinkles on my birthday cupcakes last october. oh well..

*sigh*

there's not much activity in multiply nowadays.. how sad.

sooo, i really can't think of anything more to say (or do).until i came across this phrase that rang a gong in my head.

i remembered hearing the exact same thing from a certain someone before;
i just don't remember how long it has been since that moment in time.

but i certainly remember who it is that mentioned it to me.
seriously, how can i forget.



so, to you, haha
it's weird how i always say
"you know who you are"
assuming you really do
but i still strongly think
that you do get what i'm trying to say.




so, to you, you know who you are: after several months or year/s from that exact moment that you told me to go search it on the internet, i finally did.

i'm currently downloading the demo of the game, and quite excited to try it out. i wonder where i can get the newer deluxe version.. hrmmmm..






p.s. i remember now the place.. or so i think i do. haha, whatever.. :)

sometimes i wonder why there are people whose faces always look the same in pictures. it's extremely boring and creepy all at the same time. it's like no matter what hairstyle or clothes accompany the image, the face is somewhat static.

borrrrre-dom.

ugh. it's hard looking at pictures with different poses but seeing the same facial expression go in each shot. it sucks..







or maybe, just maybe....



*this makes me giggle sinisterly*       <-------- this exists.




maybe i'm just frickin' tired of you already.














NICE.




time to move on, then.
finally.. :D

only 350.. san ka pa?

also, MUCH BETTER if you contact me first.. :)) 09174628337 or 09081903844

Before you start, erase my answers so that you're not influenced by my answers. Type what comes to your mind FIRST whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random, just type it! Then tag 10 people.

1. BEER: palaka.

2. FOOD: magazine.

3. RELATIONSHIPS: end, love does not.

4. YOUR CRUSH: wala akong "crush"

5. POWER RANGERS: 5 years old.

6. LIFE: monitor.

7. THE PRESIDENT: el presidente at Rich King

8. YUMMY: salmonella.

9. DRINKS: martini.

10. MOVIE: my sassy girl.

11. HALLOWEEN: pakbet.

12. SEX: gender equality.

13. RELIGION: catholic.

14. HATE: xoxo.

15. FEAR: el ultimo participante.

16. MARRIAGE: bernard.

17. BLONDES: barbie.

18. SLIPPER: penguin.

19. SHOES: flats.

20. ASIANS: hiro nakamura.

21. PASTIME: quotes in quiz.

22. ONE NIGHT STAND: nakakangawit.

23. CELL PHONE: 1 message received.

24. COMPUTER: transltr.

25. FANTASY: dyosa.

26. HOME: desktop.

27. HIGH SCHOOL LIFE: ugh.

28. PAJAMAS: saging.

29. STARS: rigel.

30. FITNESS CENTER: sm the block.

31. ALCOHOL: astro cigarette.

32. LOVE: ...

33. FRIENDS: have a nice day.

34. MONEY: sex.

35. HEARTACHE: the scientist.

36. TIME: photon.

37. DIVORCE: hugh jackman.

38. DOGS: bob the builder.

39. BOOKS: paper.

40. PARENTS: volkswagen beetle.

41. BABIES: kyle xy.

42. EX: you're so last summer.

43. MUSIC: romeo and juliet.

44. COLOR: magenta.

45. WEDDING: ipot ng kalapati.

46. PIZZA: potato tots.

47. HANGOUT: alambre.

49. SPORTS: tennis.

50. INSPIRATION: fishball.

matagal na kaming magkaibigan, magtatatlong taon na rin siguro. una kaming naging malapit noong 3rd year high school ako. noong una, hindi ko alam kung anong ie-expect ko sa pagdating niya sa buhay ko dahil unang una sa lahat, parang nagkakilala lang kami ulit pero pakiramdam ko, hindi ko pa rin siya masyadong kilala.. at hindi maganda yung unang paghihiwalay namin.

aaminin ko ang totoo: ayoko talaga sa kanya noon. pero hindi ako yung tipo ng tao na sarado ang utak sa mga posibilidad. syempre binigyan ko ng chance yung posibilidad na magkasundo kami. ay iyon nga ang nangyari.

hindi lang kami nagkasundo.
ang totoo niyan, nagustuhan ko na rin siya.
hindi ko alam kung alam niya iyon.
basta ang alam ko, naging mahirap man ang umpisa namin,
naging maganda naman ang lagay ng mga bagay-bagay..

hanggang sa matapos ang third year high school.

maging magulo, malabo, nakakainis, masakit, mahirap at kung anu ano pa ang fourth year ko. hindi ko na alam kung anong nangyari sa amin, basta ang alam ko, wala na.

mukhang wala na kaming pag-asa.
tapos na ang lahat.

hindi maganda ang taong iyon para sa amin.

at mula noon ay hindi na rin ako umaasa na maging maayos pa ang lahat. kailangang makontento na lang ako sa kung anong natira sa mga magagandang alaala na nagawa naming dalawa noong mga panahong hindi pa kami masyadong abala sa mga bagay-bagay na inaasikaso namin.

alam ko namang may kasalanan din ako kung bakit kami nagkaganoon. nagkulang ako sa pagtitiyaga. tinamad ako. at madalas, hindi pa ako nagsisimula, tinatamad na ako.

naging mahirap na rin kasi yung sitwasyon namin. umabot sa point na nagkapatong-patong na ang lahat ng problema, at wala na akong magawa.

wala na.

ngayong college ay nagkita kaming muli. aaminin ko, hindi pa naghihilom noon ang mga sugat ko mula sa huli naming engkwentro, pero alam kong kailangan ko rin itong harapin.

kailangan ko siyang harapin.

mahirap mang paniwalaan pero ngayon ay naayos na namin ang aming mga pagkakaiba. ang totoo niyan, parang walang nagbago sa amin.

parang dati pa rin.

parang noong third year ulit.

ngayon ay inalagaan ko na kung anong meron kami. hindi na ako nagpabaya, at sinisiguro kong mayroon akong oras para sa kanya. pero sa pagtatapos ng unang taon ko sa kolehiyo ay binigyan niya ako ng isang maganda at isang hindi magandang sorpresa.

sabi niya, masaya daw siya, at pinasaya niya ako dahil doon.

pero pinapapili niya ako, at sa nagkaroon lang ako ng isang linggo para magdesisyon.

isang malaking desisyon ang gagawin kong ito, at maraming maaapektuhan. maaaring magbunga ito ng mas mabuti o mas makasasamang bagay.

ayokong gumagawa ng malalaking desisyon na katulad nito. dati palang, ayoko na:

kung saan ako magha-high school.
kung saan ako magcocollege.
kung anong course ang kukunin ko.
kung itutuloy ko ang scholarship ko.
kung saan course ako lilipat.
kung anong mga subjects ang kukunin ko.

kahit anong malaki ang magiging impact sa buhay ko, usually, dinedelay ko na lang para pagdating ng deadline, ibang tao na ang gagawa ng desisyon para sa akin.

at ganon na nga rin ang ginagawa ko ngayon: delaying tactics.

pero ano nga ba ang gagawin ko?

alam kong sa loob ng tatlo pang taon na ilalagi ko sa unibersidad ay hindi maiiwasang magkasama kami. napakaliit ng mundo para hindi kami magkasama.

kaya sana matulungan ninyo ako sa desisyong gagawin ko.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

0.25 na lang ang layo ko sa tuktok.

 

magfa-finals pa ba ako sa chem16?

kung di pa kami nag-internet sa CS Lib kanina ni Allison, hindi ko ata mapapansin na ngayong araw pala ay isang espesyal na araw.

St. Patrick's Day ngayon.

sa totoo lang, hindi ko naman talaga sine-"celebrate" ang araw na ito. unang una, hindi ako irish. pangalawa, di kami close ni St. Patrick.

yung pagiging hindi pangkaraniwan ng araw na ito ay dahil may certain na pangyayari sa buhay ko exactly 2 years ago na inaassociate ko lang lagi sa araw na ito, dahil St. Patrick's Day nung araw na iyon.

naging parang tradisyon na rin sa akin ang pagpo-post ng blog entry tuwing St. Patrick's Day na laman ang isang kantang nagbigay ng kahulugan sa araw na ito.

so ayun, kaya pala siya naging espesyal sa akin--- dahil sa kantang iyon.

iba ang St. Patrick's Day ngayon taon na ito. ibang iba, dahil una, hindi ko napansin na March 17 NA NAMAN pala. pangalawa, hindi na katulad nung sitwasyon dati ang meron ako.

sobrang ibang iba na yung lagay ng mga bagay-bagay ngayon.

naaalala ko pa yung post ko dun sa luma kong blog nung March 17, 2008. natatawa na lang ako sa sobrang pagka-emo nung post na iyon.

tignan ninyo na lang sa:

http://doubledeadroses.multiply.com/journal/item/219/Saint_Patricks_Day_Im_Learning_You

natatawa talaga ako sa post ko na yan. ang emo ko pala talaga noon. tinatry ko ring hanapin yung pinaka-una, noong 2007. wait lang.

so, hindi ko nakita.

ito na yung kantang makahulugan. sa totoo lang una ko itong nagustuhan, bago ko pa na-associate ito sa March 17. basta ang ganda kasi nung kanta, tapos nung nangyari yung pangyayaring yun, parang nagkaroon ng "click" tapos sabi ko, "ay, saint patrick's day pala ngayon!" tapos yun na. the rest is history.

 

St. Patrick's Day by John Mayer

Here comes the cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own

You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I'll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors
I'm learning you

And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?
And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrrick's Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
and look around at all the beautiful houses
something in the way that blue lights
on a black night can make you feel more

Everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
Just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day

 

ito yung last part nung post ko last year. natuwa naman ako kasi parang kahit papaano, natupad ko ito:

"Sometimes, I think it was just fitting that you broke my heart on Saint Patrick's Day. That way, I'll always remember to be less stupid every year."

ayan, kaya mahalaga para sa akin ang St. Patrick's Day. nae-excite din ako kasi parang every year, nagkakaroon ng pagbabago. every March 17, merong iba sa araw na ito. at nasabi ko na rin diba? ibang iba ang St. Patrick's Day na ito. at sa totoo lang, masaya ako na ganito na ang sitwasyon ngayon.

mas madali na para sa akin.
hindi na masyadong kumplikado.

wala na.

 

sige, next year na lang ulit!

 

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day Sa Inyong Lahat!

1.618....... o yea.

so dark the con of man.

kung umaasa ka ng isang in-depth post tungkol sa limit ng ratio ng fibonacci numbers, wala kang mapapala sa sinulat kong ito.

hindi ko matanggap na in-indian kami ng lecturer kanina. as in. walang nagturo sa Phy10 nang bonggang bongga. at nanakit yung leeg ko sa pagtulog sa classroom na malamig. bongga. haha. so sinolo ko yung electric fan at dalawang centralized aircon sa 211. weee.

tapos nakakainis. walang fringe time kanina. linux na bongggang bongga lang ang libre at syempe, never learned ang drama ko. penguin lang ang alam ko sa linux.

tapos syempre natalo ako sa pustahan. kaya kailangang bumili ng polvoron.. na wala pang kalasa-lasa. haha. baka sabihin ni ayen, dinadaya ko siya. ayoko nang maulit yung nangyari nung 4th year. muntik na kaming mag-away ni claudette nang bonggang bongga dahil sa pandaraya tactics ko. haha.

first time ko na nga lang makipagpustahan nang walang kwenta, natalo pa ako. ugh. ang lungkot nun, grabe.

uhh... ano pa bang pangit sa araw na'to?

ah! si rj, ginawang bonggang bonggang bloke ng niyog yung gagamitin namin sa kas. so kamusta naman yung i-freezer mo nang bonggang bongga yung niyog? huh? huh?

nag-overtime ako nang bonggang bongga sa extempo. pero ayos lang, sana mataas pa rin final grade ko sa comm3. weee?

nag-cut nang bonggang bongga ng math si orlie. argh, so dinala ko pa talaga yung da vinci code na hinihiram niya, tapos ito lang ang kabayarang matatanggap ko? talipandas.

ngayon lang ako nakapagcheck ng email at multiply. bonggang bonggang nag-disappear na ako from the face of the earth.

 

pero alam mo kung anong pinaka da best sa araw na ito?

 

wala.

 

kasi yung ngayong gabi yung pinakadabest.

 

full moon na, ang clear pa ng langit.

tapos, nakita ko pa sina Betelgeuse at Rigel.

 

 

ha. beat that, polvoron.

 

haha, naalala ko na naman ung bonggang bonggang pagka-degrade. mula sa isang celestial being, naging celestial thing. tapos naging sangkap ng toolbox, at ngayon, isa na lang na chipanggang polvoron (na wala pang lasa; lugi ka sa 7 pesos mo).

 

 

"The chaos of the world has an underlying order."

"Sometimes being pushed to the wall gives you the momentum necessary to get over it."

-Peter de Jager

 

onga naman. haha. napansin ko lang nung isang beses na tinititigan ko yung napakaliit kong planner. ang ironic talaga kasi kaya ko siya tinititigan nun ay dahil ang laki ng problema ko sa kanya:

hindi ko mapagkasya lahat ng bagay na dapat gawin ko sa isang box para sa isang araw.

napaka-ironic (parang yung sinabi ni joedy kay austin kanina na natawa talaga ako: "napaka-true friend mo talaga, tang ina mo") nung pangyayaring yun kasi kung yung planner ko, hindi na kinakaya ang pagkahectic ng schedule ko, ako pa kaya?

tapos syempe, bukod sa sangkatutak na deadlines at exams (so demanding pala yung mga GE ko, ngayon ko lang napansin.), may iba pang nakasulat sa planner ko.

so syempre secret yun, pero para may clue, frequency yung nakasulat dun. pero hindi in Hz.

at natawa lang kasi ako dahil nung una, sobrang excited ako tungkol sa mga frequency na yun, as in colored pens pa talaga yung ginagamit ko.

dalawang klaseng frequency yung may track record sa maliit kong planner, na tatawagin nating AM at FM. ngayon, puro AM na lang ang meron. mid-february pa lang, hindi na ako makasagap ng FM frequency... *sad*

pero yun, natawa lang ako kasi anlaki pala nung measurement ng AM. as in. by far, isa pa lang yung 0 ang value. hindi ako makapaniwala. nung isang araw ko lang kasi napansin.

so, back to enthusiasm, dati nga excited ako kung kelan ulit ako makakapag-record ng frequency reading. pero ngayon, parang nagiging compulsory na lang siya instead of something to look forward to.

ako kasi yung tipo ng tao na ayaw ng unfinished business. kaya para lang matapos yung taon na kumpleto yung records, sige, take note na lang. minsan nga, muntik ko na makalimutan isulat na may measurement pala nung araw na yun. ipinaalala lang sakin nung gumawa ng "Mc-Dar" na ginagamit sa pagmemeasure nung AM frequency na sinasabi ko. hahaha.

so yun. ewan ko lang kung magpapatuloy yung almost constant value ng AM.

at kung tatanungin ako, wala akong masasabi kundi:

"wala na akong pakielam."

 

 

 

 

may naisip ako kanina habang nasa jeep ako. actually, tuwing nasa jeep naman ako, madami akong naiisip na kawalang-kwentahan. naisip ko na kung bakit ginawa ko ang isang bagay na sabi nila, dapat pinagsisisihan ko. ang sagot? na-bore lang talaga ako. boredom kills. haha. siguro nga. di ko naman siya pinagsisisihan. actually, di ako natutuwa dun sa ginawa kong yun, at kahit nalaman ko na ang adverse effects nung ginawa kong yun, ayos lang. so what?

di lang naman AM frequency ang bumubuhay sakin.

 

"if you want to have what you've never had, then you must do what you've never done. because if you only do what you've always been doing, you will only have what you've always been having.."

-gm ni armina. :)

nasa main lib ako ngayon. at exactly two hours from now ay deadline na ng speech plan ko na hindi ko pa nasisimulan.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaayos.

\m/

listening to taking back sunday never did me any good. the first time i got involved with their sound was in third year high school. well, that obviously did not help. ahaha.

to cure my cosmic loneliness--ahaha, okay, i actually just can't find some more decent music around here--i pulled out my tbs records and popped them into my player the other day. and then again, today.

this just in: tbs is so not helping.

i cannot refrain from drowning myself in the blackness carving its way out of me.

i never thought i'd ever be able to feel this way again. i've been okay for so long, i guess it's just about time to crash. but why in this manner?

why now when i cannot be saved anymore?
this won't be like before.
no one's around to pull me out this time.

 

 

 

well, i'll wait till you listen, i won't say a word
to follow your instincts just never worked for me.
you're silent but strong
i'm playing that card and you're noticing nothing again

now I'm lying on the table with everything you said, keep that in mind.
the way that it felt when the most I could do was to just blame myself.

when the most I could do was to just blame myself.

and I know you know everything.
i know you didn't mean it.

so, we're talking forever and you almost feel better,
but better's no excuse for tonight.

you see, it's never been enough to just leave or give up,
but it's never good enough to feel right.

now I'm lying on the table with everything you said.
it will all catch up eventually.

well, it caught up and honestly,
the weight of my decisions were impossible to hold,
but they were never yours.

they were never yours.

drop everything, start it all over.
remember more than you'd like to forget.
would you like to forget?

drop everything, start it all over.

well, drop everything start it all over.
would you like to forget?

drop everything start it all over.
start it all--

well I, know you know everything.
i know you didnt mean it.

i know you didnt mean it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

oh, chem 16...

why?